Learning and Unlearning
2020. I’ve been surprised, worried, and humbled by the challenges this year has brought. Like so many others, the pandemic has uprooted my daily routines and forced me to redesign my family, work, and social lives. I’ve experienced economic uncertainty and watched loved ones and strangers alike struggle with pain, suffering, and uncertainties of their own.
All of this to say, I recognize that the challenges brought on by the pandemic have disproportionately impacted BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). According to the CDC, Black Americans are five times as likely as White Americans to be hospitalized for COVID-19. Moreover, only 12% of minority-owned businesses reported receiving government loans during COVID-19, compared to 38% of businesses overall, as reported by NPR.
The past months have also highlighted the reality of discriminatory policing practices against Black Americans. Following George Floyd’s murder, I’ve become more aware of policies, such as racial covenants, that have solidified structural racism, perpetuated racial segregation, and endangered Black lives across our country.
In the face of these significant health, social, and political issues, I’ve set an intention for my summer: to be more actively engaged in my community. Mindfulness starts within, but also involves being aware of the myriad of human experiences, showing compassion for others, navigating difficult conversations, and intentionally building a more loving and equitable world.
Here’s how I am leaning into my intention. I invite you to join me.
Education has been the first step of my journey. I’m reading books, watching documentaries, and learning from the people around me. I was particularly impacted by the movie 13th, which details how a loophole in the 13th amendment—the abolition of slavery except when used as punishment for a crime—has led to a system of mass incarceration and racial inequality. Today, one in three Black men will be incarcerated in his lifetime, compared to one in seventeen of his White counterparts.
The system is deeply flawed. We must start over with compassion and tenacity.
Another particularly revealing documentary is Jim Crow of the North, a 57-minute PBS production that explains the continuing impact of racist legal policies from the 1900s. Racial covenants and redlining dominated America’s northern and western cities at this time. And these horrifying policies have contributed to the structural racism of today, including neighborhood segregation, community disinvestment, and education inequity.
A third movie I recommend is Just Mercy, which tells the true story of lawyer Bryan Stevenson as he fights for justice for Walter McMillian, a Black man who was wrongly convicted of murder. Stevenson is also the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, which provides legal representation to people who have been illegally convicted, unfairly sentenced, or abused in state jails and prisons.
Throughout my journey, I’ve also become aware of the idea of antiracism, thanks to Ibram X. Kendi and his book How to Be an AntiRacist. Kendi explains that being an antiracist is different from being not racist. He writes,
“What’s the problem with being ‘not racist?’ It is a claim that signifies neutrality: ‘I am not a racist, but neither am I aggressively against racism.’ But there is no neutrality in the racism struggle…One either believes problems are rooted in groups of people, as a racist, or locates the roots of problems in power and policies, as an antiracist. One either allows racial inequities to persevere, as a racist, or confronts racial inequities, as an antiracist…The claim of ‘not racist’ neutrality is a mask for ...inaction...and racism.”
In other words, antiracism is a commitment to acknowledge racism in everyday interactions and to fight racism wherever we find it, including our own racism and implicit biases. I’m becoming more mindful of my own biases and reflecting on my privileged place in the community. With self-compassion, I’m challenging the racism I find in myself and in those I love.
Our brains are in fact malleable. And by being antiracist, we have the power to rewire our thinking and live out the justice and love that we value.
Confronting personal bias and racism is hard. Throughout these past few months, I have regularly turned to emotional intelligence skills, especially those that support having difficult conversations. These include:
Active Listening—listening with your full presence and focused attention, without any verbal interruptions. Try to avoid creating questions, judgments, or validations in your mind. Practice allowing each word from the person speaking to unfold naturally, one word at a time.
Empathy—feeling as and with another. Take another’s perspective and climb “into the hole” with them. But also remember while doing so that even our best efforts have their limits—I will never fully understand the experiences of so many in my community.
STOP—a skill to reign in reactivity, connect with awareness and extend compassion.
S = Stop. The Sacred Pause when you notice reactivity.
T = Take a Breath. Focus on the breath, completely.
O = Observe. With curiosity, kindness, and no judgment.
P = Proceed. What would best serve you? Others? The situation?
The most difficult conversations are often those that teach us most in life. I’m doing my best to keep myself and those around me honest, and I’m grateful for those—particularly my 17 year-old and 22 year-old daughters—who hold me accountable as well.
Personal awareness and growth are only part of my journey. This challenging moment demands more of me and I hear that many of you feel the same. How can we act, in the present moment, in accordance with our values? Active community engagement will look different for everyone, especially considering the various health issues we all must honor during this time. Girls in the Game and My Block My Hood My City are organizations in my Chicago community that provide under-serviced youth with enriching and empowering experiences. I encourage you to engage meaningfully however feels best for you, identifying what makes your life whole, and then bringing your passion to others.
As community members, we also all have the responsibility to vote. Get to know your candidates, in both local and national elections, and use your voice to impact change. One way you can check your registration, or sign up to vote, is via vote.org. You can also use this site to request an absentee ballot, find a polling place, and complete the 2020 Census.
2020 has been hard but it can also be transformative if we let it. As we move forward in this year—trust me, I know it may not feel like it, but we will—let’s do so with greater awareness, deeper purpose, stronger compassion, and active anti-racism. I hope you’ll join me in this journey and share your experiences in return.
Lokah, Samastah, Sukhino, Bhavantu.
Translation: May all beings everywhere be happy & free, and may our thoughts, words, and actions help lead to that happiness & freedom for all.
With a vision for justice, equality & peace,
Ashley