3 Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
“Don’t believe everything you think.” —Byron Katie
Last month, we shared that an estimated 70% of all successful people will experience imposter syndrome at least once in their lives. From creating unnecessary psychological stress and fatigue, to holding back from sharing ideas or taking risks, to job dissatisfaction and burnout, the impact of imposter syndrome can be significant.
So what can be done? My proposition to you is that following three simple steps can help you better tame your inner critic and ultimately, unleash a more content, confident, effective YOU. Let’s dive in.
Step 1: Mindfulness
The first step to overcoming imposter syndrome starts with awareness. To say it succinctly, mindfulness is the shift from autopilot to awareness.
When we’re running on autopilot, it can be easy to let our habitual tendencies, conditional biases, and self-deprecating thoughts take over. But these thoughts only have as much power over us as we allow them to have. So when we’re able to expand our awareness, we can recognize our thoughts as what they are—just a thought. Thoughts are not facts, and they are often not the only version of the truth. As author Deb Caletti says so well, “We are all unreliable narrators, not just in the way we tell our stories to others, but how we tell them to ourselves.”
Using mindfulness, we can create a liberating shift if we suspend judgment and observe our reactivity with a curious, open approach. We may be thinking something like, “I don’t belong here,” and then we attach to this as if it’s all that we are. Instead, notice if you can shift to experiencing the moment of reactivity: “I notice that I’m having a lot of negative thoughts right now. I’m telling myself that I don’t belong in this meeting. I’m noticing that this negative self-talk is creating stress in my body right now. I can feel my heart racing and my stomach tightening. I notice that I’m afraid to speak up and share my ideas.”
This shift to present moment awareness of our experience pauses the autopilot tendencies and creates a small and helpful space—the space between stimulus and response. In that space, we have a window of opportunity to choose our response.
Step 2: Managing Emotions
Once we’re aware of the inner critique or unhelpful thought, we can manage our own reactivity. All too often, our emotional response can become an obstacle to our own effectiveness. In order to work with and regulate emotions, we have to first recognize that they are deployed in the body.
We each have our own bodily response to emotions. Based on past experience, we know where emotions like shame, fear, anger, and frustration show up in our body. When we’re experiencing these intense emotions, a bevy of chemical cocktails are released and the sympathetic nervous system—responsible for our fight or flight response—gets activated. We can work to damp down this type of response by activating the parasympathetic nervous system—responsible for calming the body— through somatic practices.
A great in the moment practice is “Box Breathing.” Simply remember “4-4-6-2” to help induce calm and manage intense emotions. Inhale, expanding your belly, for four counts. Pause for 4 counts. Then exhale slowly, drawing your belly in, for 6 counts. Pause for 2 counts then repeat.
For a longer, dedicated practice, try a Body Scan using our guided recording here. As you scan through your body, notice whatever is present, exploring with openness and curiosity, and without judgment. Simply notice, accept what is, and then let go, moving to the next area of the body. You can also use this practice “in the moment” by breathing into one area of the body—perhaps the face, scanning from the forehead to the jaw—and noticing if you can soften and release any area.
Step 3: Cognitive Reframing
After becoming more aware of our imposter thoughts, and using bodily techniques to manage intense emotions related to them, we are finally ready to deploy cognitive skills to overcome them. Though we probably won’t eliminate negative self-talk completely, we can work to effectively manage imposter syndrome, reducing its impact in our life.
One way to do this is through a reframing exercise that we call “Three Lenses” and it goes like this:
When you notice a negative thought that is holding you back, first ask yourself, “What’s the narrative I’m telling myself right now?” Then see if you can reframe your narrative using one or all of these 3 lenses:
Reverse Lens—What might another person say about this situation, thought, or feeling I’m experiencing?
Wide Lens—What are all of the other possibilities?
Long Lens—What is the price of holding on to this thought long term vs. letting it go right now? What is the impact of me still thinking this 30, 60, 90 days, or a year from now?
It can be most helpful to take the time to journal your responses to each of these prompts using paper and a writing utensil. Take 2 minutes for each “lens” and then 2 more minutes to reflect on what you wrote, circling or underlining sentiments that feel most important to you. After you’ve journaled and reflected, commit to an actionable step by asking yourself: How might I best proceed? What would best serve this situation? What specific action will I take?
An Extra Step: Meet Human Hardwiring Like A Friend
We are all human, and as humans we are hardwired for negativity. Neuroscientists have identified that it takes 5 positive thoughts or experiences to offset 1 negative thought or experience. We can confront this bias by simply extending kindness to ourselves. Self-compassion—or treating ourselves like we would a good friend who’s in the midst of a challenging moment—decreases our own stress reactivity cycle and enables resilience and the motivation to improve.
Try putting your hand on your heart and breathing in kindness to yourself, while breathing out negativity and self-criticism to release it from within. You may want to actually say the words “I am enough” or use another affirmation that feels most supportive to you. You will notice a shift in energy that can serve as a springboard for your own effectiveness.
Imposter syndrome is real, and it can affect all of us. Getting stuck on feeling like we’re not good enough can take its toll, but these strategies can support you in unleashing a more authentic YOU, ready to embrace your full potential in life. And if you need a little extra help, don’t forget that Inseus Coaching and Training are here for you—reach out to learn more about how we can support you today!
Mindfully yours,
Ashley