What’s the Amygdala Got to Do With it?

You know those moments when all of sudden your heart is racing, your palms are sweating, and your breath quickens, before you’ve even had time to think? That’s your amygdala at work. It’s the brain’s alarm system, always scanning for threats and preparing your body to react. Sometimes it’s a lifesaver. Other times… not so much.

I’ve had first-hand experience with both.

Two summers ago, I hosted a women’s leadership retreat in the Adirondacks. In the middle of the night, one of the attendees, Eileen, startled awake to a noise. She crept downstairs and to her surprise discovered a BEAR in the kitchen.

She bolted upstairs, shook her co-worker, Stephanie, awake, and they flew down the stairs—right past the bear—and out the door to safety. Hearts pounding, breath heaving, their amygdalas had kicked into high gear. No time to pause or think… just pure survival.

Because when there’s a bear in the kitchen? You don’t pause.

Once safe, their nervous systems began to settle. That’s when Eileen remembered: Sara was still inside—sleeping in the room next to the kitchen. She ran to Sara’s window, shouting for her to get out.

Scientists know that under threat, humans usually fight, flee, or freeze. And Sara? She froze. She knew exactly what was happening and hid under the covers.

Eventually, Eileen coaxed her out, and Sara ran to safety. The bear, meanwhile, wandered into the bathroom, left a parting gift (yes, right next to the toilet), and strolled off into the woods. All’s well that ends well.

But here's the catch...

The amygdala doesn’t distinguish between real and perceived threats. The stress response—cortisol, adrenaline, racing thoughts—feels the same whether you’re facing a bear or... a tough email from your boss, or an argument with your partner.

Fast forward to this summer and a very different scenario: roadtripping through the Irish countryside with my husband Chuck. He was in the driver’s seat, tackling their famously winding, narrow roads and opposite-side traffic. I was in the passenger seat, white-knuckling the dashboard and yelping at every bend. Eventually, we ended up in a classic “reactivity” argument.

Was his driving actually dangerous? Maybe. Maybe not. But the emotional response was disproportionate—bear-level intensity for something that wasn’t truly life-threatening.

So, what can be done?

The amygdala is fast, faster than logic. It activates your nervous system in milliseconds to keep you safe. That’s great when a bear is in your cabin. Less helpful when a co-worker dismisses your idea or your partner uses the wrong tone.

I’ve come to see the amygdala as an overprotective friend—well-meaning, but quick to panic. The key is learning to recognize when it’s serving you... and when it’s not.

You may not be able to stop the initial surge of stress hormones. But you can create a pause between the stimulus and response and ask yourself: “Is this threat real… or is my brain overreacting?” Creating the space for this pause allows us to toggle more quickly between the emotional, reactive areas of the brain and the wise, discerning areas of the brain.

Sometimes, our inner alarms are lifesaving. Other times, we need to use a deliberate, intentional human skill to create a pause between stimulus and response. With practice and simple, accessible mindfulness techniques, you can train your brain to shift from reactive to responsive, and from survival mode to intentional leadership. Because while some alarms are lifesaving, often we just need a reset.

Mindfully yours,
Ashley